#1)FLIRTING SPAGHETTI

I'm sure you've passed this sculpture and reflecting pool dozens and dozens of times. But did you ever wonder how it came about?

It was 1969 and college freshman Cliff Notes was trying to throw together a dinner to impress his date. Because he was short on time, Chemistry major Cliff poured some sulfuric acid into the pot to get the spaghetti to cook faster, along with a pinch of zinc, a dash of copper, and a teaspoon of iron to give the strands solidity. After five seconds, the whole thing blew up, creating a fascinating "Spaghetti plus" sculpture.

Cliff anxiously awaited for his date to arrive, preparing to grovel for his complete screw-up. To his surprise, his date thought the whole idea of incorporating nerdy scientific processes with the culinary arts was endearing. Together the two scraped up the mess and petrified it whereby they submitted it to the campus museum who has placed it here, next to the University fountain.

Since its establishment, many students stop by the sculpture on their first date; laughing at the complete absurdity of the event and using the quirky sculpture as a way to break the ice and laugh at something other than themselves. So for a great way to avoid awkwardness and get a few good laughs at someone else's mishap-turned-girl-snagging date move, bring your first date to the Spaghetti sculpture and see what happens next!

#2) FALLING FOR YOU

Bicycles have been a world-wide popular form of transportation for centuries. Recently, however unicycles have become the latest craze.

Originally popular with bowlers; many singles are now enjoying unicycling. But the color that seems to be most popular with the unicylists is Red; they'ree fun, inexpensive, and extremely eye catching.

While visiting Iowa, I, Dr. Joe Einstein, personally rented a unicycle and tried it out. It was fun, stimulating, and energizing, providing an excellent high impact workout. But the best thing about my unicycling adventure was the girls! Everywhere I rode I was stopped by intrigued females ready to make conversation about my flashy ultra-hip unicycle. Five blocks and six phone numbers later I was sold on the power of the unicycle and its potential in the dating market. I'm considering buying one for myself when I get back, once they take this darn cast off. 

So if you're down on luck, single, and in the need of a little refreshing exercise and some lovin', check out the nearest bike shop and see if they have the unicycle for you. Available in a variety of colors and aerodynamic shapes, there's bound to be one that catches the eyes of yourself and that hottie on aisle five.

#3) OOGIE BOOGIE

In recent years, "Hell Week," as practiced by government employees, has really gotten out of hand. At one institution, which will remain nameless to ensure the safety of the corporation, the rookie employees have been forced to paint a mask with primitive tribal patterns and wear the kooky concoction for a full week. Throughout the week the masked men mingle at teh local bar Contiki where their native look blends right in with the bar's decor. Each night the men engage in endless rounds of drinking games whereby the first employee to shamelessly admit defeat is forced to mount his mask on the Wall of Shame near the ladies room. Of course the last man standing is the "Rookie of the Year" and his mask gets mounted on the envied Wall of Glory located in the offices corridor.

Local bar aficionados have reported that Contiki's masked Wall of Shame has been a hit for singles for quite some time. Apparently many people gather around the Wall of Shame ripping on the pour souls who surrendered to the power of Contiki's Preying Mantis bowl, a super strong drink bringing demise to many people beyond the masked men. So if you're looking for a wacky evening full of story-telling and masked men, head to Contiki for a few rounds. Wednesday's its buy one/get one.

#4) BIRD IN THE HAND

This magical stone bird you see perched on my finger is not your usual sculpted feathered friend. There's a story behind it, naturally, which we call "Bird in the Hand".

Homing pigeons were often used during the Civil War. A message would be written, then rolled up and tied to the bird's leg. It would then be allowed to fly away, returning to its place of origin, delivering some vital message. As you know, prior to Abe Lincoln this is how all teenagers flirted.

Union Captain Cicero Hardbottom, was outmatched by the Southern forces at the famous Battle of Goat Cheese Hill. He wrote a fervent request for the authorization to surrender, then sent his favorite homing pigeon "Monterey Jack" to General Dick Random, who was luxuriating in comfort in a seized mansion 700 miles to the rear of the front line.

In need of a rest, pigeon Monterey Jack stopped at this particular spot on what is now Disneyland. He was shot almost immediately and slow roasted over a fire by Mountain Man Picolo Pete.

Well, needless to say... General Random never got Captain Hardbottom's request for surrender. That afternoon, Hardbottom shot himself in the foot in a bungled suicide attempt. He rode out the rest of the war in a Southern internment camp, where he invented 674 ways to make food out of mud.

Monterey Jack has become something of a cult figure with flirters. Rumor has it if you pat him on the head before sunrise you'll have good flirting luck at football games. In addition, Jack is the only statue in America that birds don't poop on, making him a bird of a different feather. 

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