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Dr. Goodheart's Flirting Hints
Flirting Index * Dr. Goodheart's Index
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Dr. Goodheart's Flirting Hints for Dating Success

 

 

Seconds Please!
Flirting your way to
'Round Two'

 

We've all been there before: blind dates, friend dates, or hot guy that you've waited for months to ask you out dates. Some of them go well, some don't.  When it comes to 'closing time', often women feel lost as to where they stand when contemplating whether or not there will be a second date in store or not.  Just when you thought you finally found the one (you swear you saw sparks fly), you find yourself waiting eagerly by the phone for the next two weeks!  

So where'd you go wrong?  Chances are you were so busy trying to impress your recent date that you forgot all about the obvious, he's sizing you up.  The first date is like a standardized test: he's measuring you up to see where you stand in categories x, y, z (and then some), and doing so based on first impressions, and only first impressions!

If you're like many single woman out there who just can't seem to close the job and guarantee 'second date' status with your slew of Mr. Maybes, please consider the following:

GO WITH THE FLOW GAL

Most guys may love to gawk at the high maintenance girls: they're beautiful, well kept, and well, great eye candy.  But beyond that, most often girls that are too pristine perfect on the outside tend to veer towards the bitchy side when it comes to personality- and no guy wants to string one of those around his arm.  When it comes to bitchy gals, most guys can spot one a mile away.  Seeing as how your first date is your first impression, the last thing you want to do is let a bad day or personal crisis bring out the 'b' in you on your big date. 

To ensure you pass the witch test make sure to mind your P's and Q's in all facets of the evening's events, specifically the way you speak to all persons potentially serving you: waiters, hosts, sales people, etc, and of course, your date.  Don't forget to use words like please and thank you, and, if by chance you're steak comes out rare instead of well done, smile and politely request a re-cook rather than start WW III with your wait staff.  Women who are rife with compliments and good table manners are usually the ones that garner second date status.

ENVIABLE ETIQUETTE 

In addition to watching your table manners and subduing the bitchipoo in you, it's also important to give a grande display of your polished etiquette when away from the table.  Words like 'thank you' are huge: especially when your date pays your way, or dishes out a compliment.  Likewise, keep in mind it is the 21st century - that means men AND women can pay the bill.  Instead of expecting the man to foot the bill, show your date respect by offering to pay, or at least cover the tip.  If he avidly refuses your offer be sure and thank him and offer to cover dessert - you heard there's a great ice cream parlor two doors down that you'd love to treat him to!  Girls who don't expect to be spoiled are the ones the good guys can't wait to drop the cash for.

INGENUE BEAUTY 

You're hot, but is that all?  Do you sound as interesting as you look?  Women who stay mute the whole night through, be it because they're shy, intimidated, or inept, are going to lose the attention of Mr. Maybe very quickly.  The good guys are interested in what a woman has to say, what she thinks, and what she desires.  Don't be afraid to voice your opinions on matters of importance, even if you don't agree with his. Chances are he'll be impressed with your confidence for taking a stand and voicing your thoughts in a respectful way. Besides, all good relationships are built on growth and what fun would it be if you two always agreed on everything anyway.

Girls that come to the table prepared to deliver are the ones who'll catch their date's interest, and hold it!   Just remember to keep the baby and marriage dialogue on hold until a few dates down the road. 

QUEEN 'SPELLING' BEE   

No matter how good the date went, I repeat: no matter how much laughter and fun ensued during your first romantic interlude, be persistent and clear when indicating interest in continuing your rendezvous on date #2.  Guys will more than likely miss the subtle hints, and even if you bail after a hug and a peck on the cheek, be sure to finish your farewell with something like, "That was great, thanks.  I can't wait to do that again sometime in the future."  Also, don't be afraid to dish out the digits first (if for some reason neither of you have them yet).  Girls who take a clear initiative and spell out they're interested are the girls that win out for round two time and again.  Be direct, be grateful, and be enthusiastic for round two and pretty soon you can stop daydreaming about second dates and actually experience them!


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