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5 Escapable Ego-Blows ... from the DATING KING

~ ~Are you an ego basher, or an ego booster? Do you shower your man with compliments, or do you knock him down every chance you get, even if you're attempting (in a perverse way) to motivate your man towards change for the better? Are you proud of your man, and let him know it, or are you constantly nagging at him to hit the gym and lose those 5 extra pounds? If you think you're tending towards the latter you may want to consider avoiding these fatal blows before you no longer have a man around to crush (however well intentioned your ego bashing may be).


EGO BLOW 1: Public Pillow

Talk The last thing a guy usually wants is for you to bring up bedroom secrets at the dinner table, especially not when it implies his lack of stellar performances or other sexual mishaps as a source for comedic conversation. Guys take their intimate performances seriously, very seriously. If you happen to slip, however minor, that we were less than perfect on any given day, we're going to be crushed and on the permanent defensive from there on out.

"I dated this girl who thought that whenever she got a few drinks in her she had leeway to discuss our private moments. Though I was flattered when she bragged, I was absolutely humiliated after she noted to friends that I have a hard time getting it up after a few drinks or a long day at work. That stuff is private, and her making it public knowledge for a few good laughs at my expense was completely debilitating, and the last straw." ~Seth, 32

EGO BLOW 2: Mommy Dearest

Most men absolutely hate it when their girlfriends resort to spitting on napkins and cleaning off their faces after a meal. The same applies for the slicking our hair back with spit, or water-sprayed combs. Men want to feel like, well, men, and not some little boy who needs his mother around 24-7 to look after him.

"This one time I went out with this chick and she had the audacity to lick her fingers and slick back my cowlick in public. First of all I was grossed out and totally humiliated. Then I was totally annoyed. I have a mom, and you're not it. The last thing I want to do is draw a parallel between the woman I'm dating and my mother. " ~Dave, 24

EGO BLOW 3: Speak for Yourself

Men pride themselves on being able to take care of themselves and making the right decisions in life, including all those trivial ones like choosing our meals, or stating our opinions about paint swatches, etc. Nothing is more annoying than when a woman cuts in and speaks on our behalf (which is usually wrong anyways). We have our own opinions and we are free and wanting to voice them ourselves, thank you very much.

"I was absolutely shocked when this chick began talking to her girlfriend about my political beliefs while I was standing right there. In the first place she was way off. Secondly, hello! I'm standing right here, I can hear you; yes, you're wrong; and yes, I would love to speak for myself!" -Tristan, 29

EGO BLOW 4: Fashion Patrol


Most men, straight ones anyways, could care less about fashion and all things related. Do our socks match, do stripes go with plaids, do sandals work with chinos. we don't care and we don't really want you to either, at least not when its our wardrobe you're referencing. If you want to pull out the fashion police on your own outfits, suit yourself (no pun intended), but please, let us dress ourselves. Again, it's that whole "mommy complex" thing that can really irk us. Unless you're going to tell us how wonderful we look, please abstain commentary or efforts to try and make us look the whole "Queer Eye"' part.

"I once dated this girl who would have a seizure, literally, if I came out of the bedroom dressed in anything besides designer clothing. What's worse, if it wasn't exactly color coordinated with her outfits she would make me go and change or she'd pout the rest of the night. Not only did she make me feel like I was five, she made me feel like I was dating a five year old who loved to throw temper tantrums." ~Gus, 23.

EGO BLOW 5: Fatal Flashbacks

Sure, you've had boyfriends before. We don't expect to be your first romantic interlude and you shouldn't expect the same of us. All the same, we don't want to hear (no matter how politely and patiently we endure the commentary) incessant remarks regarding your ex. We don't want to hear about your perfect Mr. Ex.if he's so perfect then why isn't he with you right now? We're not opposed to being sympathetic about past casualties but we do get offended (and always will) when we know we're being measured up against old flames.

"This one chick I dated for awhile seemed perfect.until one day everything that came out of her mouth from that day on was all about her ex. Mr. X did so and so, and Mr. X did such and such. After a while I couldn't stand it anymore. I felt totally inadequate. Basically I felt like a substitute for the ex. I thought she was merely tolerating me rather than appreciating me for who I was. Needless to say, things didn't work out." ~Jerry, 35

~Though some of these ego-blows may seem apparently innocent at first, testimonies reveal that these five no-no's really dig a little deeper than the average girl may think. So to avoid all fatal ego-blow casualties just put on your perceptive caps and remember to treat us with the dignity and respect you expect in return.