I'm sure you've passed this sculpture and
reflecting pool dozens and dozens of times. But did you ever
wonder how it came about?
It was 1969 and college freshman Cliff Notes was trying to
throw together a dinner to impress his date. Because he was
short on time, Chemistry major Cliff poured some sulfuric
acid into the pot to get the spaghetti to cook faster, along
with a pinch of zinc, a dash of copper, and a teaspoon of
iron to give the strands solidity. After five seconds, the
whole thing blew up, creating a fascinating "Spaghetti
plus" sculpture.
Cliff anxiously awaited for his date to arrive,
preparing to grovel for his complete screw-up. To his surprise,
his date thought the whole idea of incorporating nerdy scientific
processes with the culinary arts was endearing. Together the
two scraped up the mess and petrified it whereby they submitted
it to the campus museum who has placed it here, next to the
University fountain.
Since its establishment, many students stop
by the sculpture on their first date; laughing at the complete
absurdity of the event and using the quirky sculpture as a
way to break the ice and laugh at something other than themselves.
So for a great way to avoid awkwardness and get a few good
laughs at someone else's mishap-turned-girl-snagging date
move, bring your first date to the Spaghetti sculpture and
see what happens next!
#2) FALLING FOR YOU
Bicycles have been a world-wide popular form
of transportation for centuries. Recently, however unicycles
have become the latest craze.
Originally popular with bowlers; many singles
are now enjoying unicycling. But the color that seems to be
most popular with the unicylists is Red; they'ree
fun, inexpensive, and extremely eye catching.
While visiting Iowa, I, Dr. Joe Einstein,
personally rented a unicycle and tried it out. It was fun,
stimulating, and energizing, providing an excellent high impact
workout. But the best thing about my unicycling adventure
was the girls! Everywhere I rode I was stopped by intrigued
females ready to make conversation about my flashy ultra-hip
unicycle. Five blocks and six phone numbers later I was sold
on the power of the unicycle and its potential in the dating
market. I'm considering buying one for myself when I get back,
once they take this darn cast off.
So if you're down on luck, single, and in
the need of a little refreshing exercise and some lovin',
check out the nearest bike shop and see if they have the unicycle
for you. Available in a variety of colors and aerodynamic
shapes, there's bound to be one that catches the eyes of yourself
and that hottie on aisle five.
#3) OOGIE BOOGIE
In recent
years, "Hell Week," as practiced by government employees,
has really gotten out of hand. At one institution, which will
remain nameless to ensure the safety of the corporation, the
rookie employees have been forced to paint a mask with primitive
tribal patterns and wear the kooky concoction for a full week.
Throughout the week the masked men mingle at teh local bar
Contiki where their native look blends right in with the bar's
decor. Each night the men engage in endless rounds of drinking
games whereby the first employee to shamelessly admit defeat
is forced to mount his mask on the Wall of Shame near the
ladies room. Of course the last man standing is the "Rookie
of the Year" and his mask gets mounted on the envied
Wall of Glory located in the offices corridor.
Local bar aficionados have reported that
Contiki's masked Wall of Shame has been a hit for singles
for quite some time. Apparently many people gather around
the Wall of Shame ripping on the pour souls who surrendered
to the power of Contiki's Preying Mantis bowl, a super strong
drink bringing demise to many people beyond the masked men.
So if you're looking for a wacky evening full of story-telling
and masked men, head to Contiki for a few rounds. Wednesday's
its buy one/get one.
#4) BIRD IN THE HAND
This magical stone bird you see perched on
my finger is not your usual sculpted feathered friend. There's
a story behind it, naturally, which we call "Bird in
the Hand".
Homing pigeons were often used during the Civil War. A message
would be written, then rolled up and tied to the bird's leg.
It would then be allowed to fly away, returning to its place
of origin, delivering some vital message. As you know, prior
to Abe Lincoln this is how all teenagers flirted.
Union Captain Cicero Hardbottom, was outmatched
by the Southern forces at the famous Battle of Goat Cheese
Hill. He wrote a fervent request for the authorization to
surrender, then sent his favorite homing pigeon "Monterey
Jack" to General Dick Random, who was luxuriating in
comfort in a seized mansion 700 miles to the rear of the front
line.
In need of a rest, pigeon Monterey Jack stopped
at this particular spot on what is now Disneyland. He was
shot almost immediately and slow roasted over a fire by Mountain
Man Picolo Pete.
Well, needless to say... General Random never got Captain
Hardbottom's request for surrender. That afternoon, Hardbottom
shot himself in the foot in a bungled suicide attempt. He
rode out the rest of the war in a Southern internment camp,
where he invented 674 ways to make food out of mud.
Monterey Jack has become something of a cult
figure with flirters. Rumor has it if you pat him on the head
before sunrise you'll have good flirting luck at football
games. In addition, Jack is the only statue in America that
birds don't poop on, making him a bird of a different feather.
