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Dr. Goodheart's Flirting Hints
Flirting Index * Dr. Goodheart's Index
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Dr. Goodheart's Flirting Hints for Dating Success

Surefire tips to help you score those coveted 'brownie points' with your lady

So, "You Want a Cookie?"

~When it comes to making women happy, more often than not, men are at an utter loss for rhyme or reason how to do so. It seems almost incessantly one hears men remark such things as "women are just so confusing," "I can never figure out what she wants," or "why can't she just be happy," and lastly, "I just wish I knew what I could do to please her." Well men, you're in luck. Truth be told women really AREN'T, I repeat A-R-E N-O-T that hard to please.

More often that not the reason women are upset is simply because of our own lack of confidence in the relationship, whether or not its us fearing that you are just not as interested as before (which we assume in an over paranoid state that interprets your less than enthusiastic interest in phone conversations and wandering eyes as bored and looking for an out), or us feeling that perhaps you could stand to give us a little more attention, really all us women want is a man to be loyal and to love being loyal.

Though anthems like "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend" and "Material Girl" blare loud and clear over Neiman Marcus's jewelry aisles, really when it comes to making a woman happy you can stop well short of pricey rocks and score big with these simple but sweet gestures that say "I care" with effortlessness panache.

BE HER BELLBOY

No, not everyday. But every once in a while when she's either having one of those overwhelmingly unlucky days with too much to do and too little time to do it, or if she's looking forward to a nice day off and suddenly finds herself pinched to make free time between the unexpected arrival of a few chores, or whether you just want to be thoughtful and visually show her you care, you can do so by simply offering to take her laundry to the dry-cleaners, or getting her oil changed, or dropping off the videos at the store, or picking up those necessities at the grocery mart (which you probably assist in the consumption of anyways).

Chances are, if its tedious for her then its tedious for you - and the fact that you are willing to autonomously switch the 'tediousness' of the chore from her to yourself shows first and foremost that you care. It also suggests, however, that you are ready to take an active role in assisting her in a time of need, and thereby shows that you do care about her feelings, her life, and all those other "little" things that men are so often accused of letting go unnoticed in the relationship. So go ahead, play maid for a day and see what you're cleaning up her room gets you in return!

SURPRISE, SURPRISE

So often guys fall into the trap of thinking that they need a special occasion (i.e. birthday, anniversary, etc) to plan a special date. That said, its often on those dates that men will predictably plan the same thing: a nice expensive dinner, maybe a movie, some flowers, chocolate...sound familiar? Truth is you don't need an upcoming anniversary to inspire you to show you care. Be impulsive, be spontaneous and when and if you feel like surprising your woman with a special something,in the words of Nike, "just do it." You can always spring a last minute "special" dinner reservation on an unsuspecting woman and generally find it warmly received.

Likewise, if you know she has a favorite athletic team you can try to score tickets in advance for a big upcoming game- yeah, bunk deal for all those ESPN buffs, right?- or if she really likes a particular band or artist (note: your opinion doesn't matter here) coming into town and you know you can afford to spring for last minute tickets, surprise her with an out of the blue splurge that shows you really do love her and more importantly, you think about her, her needs,her feelings, and her wants, even when she's not around.

BONUS: Planning something special in advance is like a double-edged sword, but in a good way. First you have the appearance of seeming spontaneous by just springing the surprise on her, and, spontaneity is generally perceived as a strong element to help hold the excitement and passion of a relationship in tact. Secondly, once she realizes that you actually planned out the event and took time to acquire the reservations, tickets, whatever, you will gain the reputation of being a thoughtful, consideration, calculating partner and it opens up the floodgates for her to trust you and deem you responsible and thoughtful. always a good thing for those of you taking the relationship seriously. This is one of those sure-fire moves that never fails to get you instant "Boyfriend of the Year" status.

CONVINCING CAT CALLS

Sure not every woman appreciates being howled at by crowds of lewd men with jaws dropped, eyes bugged, etc. etc. But that doesn't mean that once a woman settles down she doesn't want to still feel sexy and know that IF she were to walk down the street in her "saturday night's best" she would still receive the attention, unwarranted or otherwise. So, the next time she gets all gussied up to go out with you, be it to the movies, the club, dinner, wherever, if she's looking particularly sexy, tell her.

BONUS: Most women don't feel very sexy when they're not all dolled-up. It's a simple fact of our Cover-Girl lives that makeup physically transforms the female psyche from shy girl into diva within a few strokes of powder and some mascara. So the next time you catch your woman looking particularly radiant when she's au' natural, tell her how beautiful she is. You don't need to give her a diatribe on the uselessness of hiding her beauty with makeup, etc.; simply compliment her on how breathtaking she is at a random, unlikely moment, and your likely to have one hot mama all over you with hugs and kisses and a dozen other ways she'll want to say, "thank you for noticing."

A FEW of HER FAVORITE THINGS

Men, you may think you're being suave by trying to impress women with the big holiday gifts that rack up the dollar signs to say "I love you this much." but more often than not women know what a big chore it is for you to actually decide on the gift:

"For my boyfriend, shopping is like the encroachment of WWII. I know it seems like a ludicrous analogy, but its true. Whenever the holidays approach he physically breaks out in cold sweats, get nervous, jittery, he can't focus, etc. etc. It's as if every TV commercial, every printed ad, every little Santa bell ringing is a silent form of torture slowly mocking him for being an inept male lacking the proper 'shopping genetics'" -Sarah, Dayton, OH.

But because women know how hard it is for most men to pick out the perfect gift, it puts you at all the more of an advantage when you present her with a random little something for no reason. Giving your woman a small token simply because, or better yet, because "it made me think of you" shows her how much you care and resonates all the deeper because she knows how terrified you are of the malls. If she knows you were actually baring the claustrophobic consumer madness because of her, it will definitely shoot you to the top of the "Boyfriend Hall of Fame" in a matter of seconds after she opens the simple bag with panties, or a picture frame, or some small other trinket that suggests sentimental thoughtfulness.

FACE the FAMILY

If you two live close to her 'rents and she has an indisputably close relationship with them, there's no better way to prove your loyalty and affection than by strapping on the armor and heading into the war zone..."first introductions" don't count (remember, we're talking above par, not necessary engagements).

A guy can show he really cares by hanging out with his partner's parents AFTER you've already survived the "meet the parents" battle. If she wants to drive up to see the family dog or have dinner with the parents, etc., to score brownie points you should "happily", however feigned, oblige.

BONUS: If you really feel like making an impression, or for a surefire way to get out of the doghouse, don't wait for her to suggest the family visit. Instead, be the first to initiate the idea. You're willingness to jump into the battle zone, which most conscious women are well aware of, will be an immediate signal to your woman how much you really care about your relationship and more importantly, her parents' opinions about the relationship.

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