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Flirting With Disaster
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Flirting With Disaster Stories - Flirting.com pg 1 (next page)

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Oscar is a CAD designer in Evansville, Indiana. He is a self-described over-the-top practical jokester who loves to sneak whoopee cushions onto the chairs of unsuspecting gals, squirt them with his super soaker, or whatever other asinine trick he can pull from his hat.

Our advice to Oscar is yes, girls like to flirt with funny guys, but not the non-stop Charlie Chaplin types. This especially holds true if they are the butt end of one of your pranks. When it comes to physically acting out your gimmick, moderation is the key. So it goes for the rest of you pie-in-the face clowns out there: eat the pie with her instead of throwing it at her.

Shelly from Deerfield, Illinois, is a cute office manager who loves to relax by taking therapeutic baths with incense, candles and flower petals.

"I love flirting with men by describing how I unwind in my baths and how it would be nice to meet a man who shares this interest," she confided to Flirting.com. "I think it turns them on."

Naturally, her pastime makes her a shoe-in for most men, but here is also where things go horribly wrong. You will notice what appears to be her "body brush" in the photo. Don't be fooled, it is her toilet brush.

Pew! Shelly carries around some major body stank. She simply doesn't see why her toilette brush should not be used to scrub her body, too, since they both work the same way. Until she does see why, she will never have any luck flirting.

Nobody likes to flirt with someone that needs to wash up with Tilex.

Gary, from Venice, Florida, is always in a mad rush because he is extremely busy as a realtor. He claims he never has time to flirt because he is always racing the clock to get from one house to the next.

"I have no time to flirt," he cried, just before he had to go. "Please help me Flirting.com. Soon as I show one house, it is time to go to the next. Time is money."

As the saying goes, sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. This saying has a lot of relevance in the world of flirting. You can't flirt when you are constantly on the go. Gary could flirt with his clients, which might improve both his home selling and dating chances. After all, busy people are used to juggling priorities, flirting must be one of them.

Bob, an IBM sales manager, from Covina, California, is overly competitive and gets piping mad anytime somebody can do something better than he can, no matter how trivial it might be.

"It doesn't matter what it is...," he explained to us. "It could be trying to pick up stuffed animals with the mechanical arm in one of those machines, and if I couldn't do it, I would put my fist through the glass."

Case in point: he didn't talk to his last girlfriend for over a week because she beat him at scrabble.

Take a chill pill Bob, and lighten up a little. Flirting is not a win-lose proposition, it is win-win for all involved. That is the approach Bob should take if he can't stand to loose. Remember, sometimes we all loose when it comes to flirting, but in the long run we all win. Don't forget it.

Linda is a twice-convicted arsonist working as a waitress in Nashville, Tenn. She has trouble flirting with anyone because she always smells as if her past time is participating in Sunoco water sports, which is to say she smells like gasoline. She burnt her last two apartment buildings down to the ground.

"I know I have a problem because I like to set things on fire," she confessed to Flirting.com. "So what? It is something men will have to deal with..."

Not only does she have destructive behavior, she has an attitude problem, too. Our advice to Linda and others who have admitted self-destructive, or even homicidal tendencies, is to get them addressed before you even think about flirting. You have to have your psychological house in order, if you want to flirt well.

linda

Hillary can't pass an Express store without buying more crap she will probably only wear once and never think about again.  Such is Hillary and her world.

"I love to shop and that has always made me the most happy," she told Flirting.com.  "yes, I would like to meet a man, but that can wait untill the shopping is finished.  Shop. Shop. Shop."

She suffers the symptoms of one who truly has an unhealthy dependency.  We asked Hillary when will the shopping be over?  It was like she became a mindless robot. "When all the clothes are all bought... When all the clothes are bought..."

Poor Hillary.  Clothes are always more fun when they are on the floor from flirting.  We suggest that she flirt first and shop later.  After all, those clothes will be on the rack tomorrow, but will Mr. Right?

hillary

Grace is an HR rep who lives in Manasquan, N.J. She never has luck flirting at work because she suspects, men are hesitant to flirt with anyone from HR. She also, as you can see, likes to pick her nose.

Grace's problem is not that she works in HR, in fact, that might be a flirting bonus in some ways. After all, men might think that if she is flirting with them, heck, anything goes. After all, she knows the rules. However, Grace's problem is that she has poor hygiene, evidenced by picking boogers from her nose while talking to men.

Its your choice Grace, either pick your nose or pick flirting. We suggest flirting. So, if you are like Grace and find yourself shoving fingers up your nose, flossing in public, picking wedgies out of your ass, then it is time to make a decision. Pick flirting.

Greg from Indianapolis, Indiana, goes all wrong with his rapid and fierce gestures when he rambles. Consequently, he has no luck when it comes to flirting.

"I like to swing my hands wildly when I flirt," he said. "Unfortunately, last time I was flirting I knocked a drink out of this girls hand on onto some guy next to her. He beat the crap out of me."

As well he should have, Greg. When flirting you have to be under control at all times.

flirting

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