With Disaster Stories - Flirting.com pg 1 (next
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Oscar is a CAD designer in Evansville, Indiana. He is a self-described
over-the-top practical jokester who loves to sneak whoopee
cushions onto the chairs of unsuspecting gals, squirt them
with his super soaker, or whatever other asinine trick he
can pull from his hat.
Our advice to Oscar is yes, girls like to flirt with funny
guys, but not the non-stop Charlie Chaplin types. This especially
holds true if they are the butt end of one of your pranks.
When it comes to physically acting out your gimmick, moderation
is the key. So it goes for the rest of you pie-in-the face
clowns out there: eat the pie with her instead of throwing
it at her.
Shelly from Deerfield, Illinois,
is a cute office manager who loves to relax by taking therapeutic
baths with incense, candles and flower petals.
"I love flirting with men by describing how I unwind in
my baths and how it would be nice to meet a man who shares this
interest," she confided to Flirting.com. "I think
it turns them on."
Naturally, her pastime makes her a shoe-in for most men, but
here is also where things go horribly wrong. You will notice
what appears to be her "body brush" in the photo.
Don't be fooled, it is her toilet brush.
Pew! Shelly carries around some major body stank. She simply
doesn't see why her toilette brush should not be used to scrub
her body, too, since they both work the same way. Until she
does see why, she will never have any luck flirting.
Nobody likes to flirt with someone that needs to wash up with
Gary, from Venice, Florida, is always in a mad rush
because he is extremely busy as a realtor. He claims he never
has time to flirt because he is always racing the clock to
get from one house to the next.
"I have no time to flirt," he cried, just before
he had to go. "Please help me Flirting.com. Soon as I
show one house, it is time to go to the next. Time is money."
As the saying goes, sometimes you have to stop and smell
the roses. This saying has a lot of relevance in the world
of flirting. You can't flirt when you are constantly on the
go. Gary could flirt with his clients, which might improve
both his home selling and dating chances. After all, busy
people are used to juggling priorities, flirting must be one
Bob, an IBM sales manager,
from Covina, California, is overly competitive and gets piping mad anytime
somebody can do something better than he can, no matter how
trivial it might be.
"It doesn't matter what it is...," he explained to
us. "It could be trying to pick up stuffed animals with
the mechanical arm in one of those machines, and if I couldn't
do it, I would put my fist through the glass."
Case in point: he didn't talk to his last girlfriend for over
a week because she beat him at scrabble.
Take a chill pill Bob, and lighten up a little. Flirting is
not a win-lose proposition, it is win-win for all involved.
That is the approach Bob should take if he can't stand to loose.
Remember, sometimes we all loose when it comes to flirting,
but in the long run we all win. Don't forget it.
Linda is a twice-convicted
arsonist working as a waitress in Nashville, Tenn. She has trouble
flirting with anyone because she always smells as if her past
time is participating in Sunoco water sports, which is to say
she smells like gasoline. She burnt her last two apartment buildings
down to the ground.
"I know I have a problem because I like to set things
on fire," she confessed to Flirting.com. "So what?
It is something men will have to deal with..."
Not only does she have destructive behavior, she has an attitude
problem, too. Our advice to Linda and others who have admitted
self-destructive, or even homicidal tendencies, is to get them
addressed before you even think about flirting. You have to
have your psychological house in order, if you want to flirt
Hillary can't pass an Express
store without buying more crap she will probably only wear once
and never think about again. Such is Hillary and her world.
"I love to shop and that has always made me the most happy,"
she told Flirting.com. "yes, I would like to meet
a man, but that can wait untill the shopping is finished.
Shop. Shop. Shop."
She suffers the symptoms of one who truly has an unhealthy
dependency. We asked Hillary when will the shopping be
over? It was like she became a mindless robot. "When
all the clothes are all bought... When all the clothes are bought..."
Poor Hillary. Clothes are always more fun when they are
on the floor from flirting. We suggest that she flirt
first and shop later. After all, those clothes will be
on the rack tomorrow, but will Mr. Right?
Grace is an HR rep who lives
in Manasquan, N.J. She never has luck flirting at work because
she suspects, men are hesitant to flirt with anyone from HR.
She also, as you can see, likes to pick her nose.
Grace's problem is not that she works in HR, in fact, that
might be a flirting bonus in some ways. After all, men might
think that if she is flirting with them, heck, anything goes.
After all, she knows the rules. However, Grace's problem is
that she has poor hygiene, evidenced by picking boogers from
her nose while talking to men.
Its your choice Grace, either pick your nose or pick flirting.
We suggest flirting. So, if you are like Grace and find yourself
shoving fingers up your nose, flossing in public, picking wedgies
out of your ass, then it is time to make a decision. Pick flirting.
Greg from Indianapolis, Indiana,
goes all wrong with his rapid and fierce gestures when he rambles.
Consequently, he has no luck when it comes to flirting.
"I like to swing my hands wildly when I flirt," he
said. "Unfortunately, last time I was flirting I knocked
a drink out of this girls hand on onto some guy next to her.
He beat the crap out of me."
As well he should have, Greg. When flirting you have to be
under control at all times.
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