Dr.
Goodheart's Flirting Hints for Dating Success
Sizing
Him Up:
Examine Your
Man’s Nature, Sans the Grill-Fest
~ You've just met, it lust at first sight
and, as far as you can tell, all is currently copasetic. Then
you're man does something that seems out of character and suddenly
you find yourself asking, "Who is this guy? Who am I really
dating?"
You're not alone in your moment of potential contemplation.
In fact most often couples that find their friends remarking "if
it's too good to be true." come to a realization, sooner or later,
that there was something astute in their friends' observations.
Still, that doesn't mean that is has to be too good, that it has
to come to an end, and yet, that doesn't aid in easing your worries.
So, inquiring minds want to know you say. Well now you can play
sleuth without actually grilling your man with a face-to-face
inquiry via investigating the following scenarios. Often there
is much to be learned from a man's behaviorisms and preferences
such as social gathering spots.
font size="4">Monetary Musings
Does your man always pay by credit, cash, debit, or a bit of
both? Generally credit men crave status and usually have long
term goals with which their credit, in good-standing, is used
to finance and obtain such goals. Though this may be indicative
of financial success it may also mean he's spending beyond his
means. Still, generally credit-men are interested in long term
financial stability and success. Men who always pay with cash
generally are independent and self-sufficient. They don't like
to spend beyond their means but at the same time are always able
to afford their lifestyle.
Men however, whose wallets are always wanting money, either green
or plastic, well, need I say more?
Party Panache
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Sure humans are social beings, and as such, like to engage in
a good fiesta every once in awhile. The key word here is once
in awhile. If you're man is one that is always up for the ritual
weekend bash wherein he immerses himself in copious amounts of
intoxicating barley he may not be quite ready to settle down for
a serious relationship; think potential play boy or fun-loving
flirt; though that isn't to say that he can't be loyal.
Still, a good dose of social engagement is better than preferring
continual hermitage. If you're guy is constantly preferring to
stay at home, against your occasional desires to pub hop or dine-and-date,
then chances are you're looking at an uptight anti-social partner
which, pending your desires to remain entirely immersed in the
company of your partner, could mean potential trouble for the
relationship ahead. |
Filial Rank
Is you're man the eldest, youngest, middle child? Is he an only
child? Family dynamics are huge in affecting the character of
the children. In relation to your man, generally the eldest child
is the responsible one; as the baby of the family he's likely
to be more rebellious and or risky than an elder sibling; the
middle man of course generally gets lost between the demands of
the responsible eldest and the over-loaded attention of the baby,
and as such will need a lot of love and affection to nurture his
potentially, though unintentionally, needy soul.
If he's a single child chances are there may be potential for
selfishness. Generally single children rely on themselves and
while independence is always a valued trait, so too does he risk
being self-motivated because of his independence and as such may
unintentionally ignore your desires and concerns. Though this
can be frustrating, it can be amended. Just keep a lookout for
stereotypical character traits and, once identified, you can then
discern the best course of action.
PDA or No?
Though you may not want your man falling all over you in public,
still, if he's not shy of being publicly affectionate at any level
of extremity it's a sign of his security in the match and in you
as a complementary partner for him. Guy's are hugely concerned
with their self-image as perceived by the public, specifically
friends and family. If your guy is even so much as eager to act
affectionately with you in front of their company it's an even
more positive sign that he is completely assured of the relationship.
Conversely, if your man is constantly shying away from affectionate
acts in public than he is either unsure of your relationship,
or of himself. In other words, he may not be comfortable enough
yet with either his feelings for you, or he may be weary of the
stability of your feelings towards him. The only way to know whether
or not he's on shaky ground is to continually try to initiate
PDA's, on a PG level of course, and judge his reactions. Chances
are, in time, he will reveal the nature of his discomfort. |
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His "Posse"
Is your guy the type to jump from friend to friend, from group
to group without a care of those that came before? A guy who has
a stable set of friends that he constantly turns to in times of
crisis, triumph, and contemplation is implicit that he is a firm
believer and promoter of loyalty. This type of guy is one that
you can generally always rest assured will stand by your side,
through thick and thin. Still, his penchant for holding on to
the same friends also implies that he may be averse, on some level,
to change. As such, if there are any really big "hang-ups" with
his character, be prepared to find yourself frustrated in attempts
to amend the imperfections. Moreover, loyal guys, though more
than willing to stand faithfully at your side, are in no hurry
to do so until they've earned your trust; which may take longer
than one would like or expect. What's more, a man with a diverse
set of friends; i.e. different groups related to different interests,
then its likely he will be more than willing to engage and make
friends with your diverse posse. A social man is generally not
averse to adding to the pot- "make new but keep the old" may be
his adage just expect it to take time before the "new", including
yourself, are officially initiated into his close circle.
Closet 101
Does your guy prefer you in a comfy pair of sweats or jeans and
a simple tee shirt or is he pressuring you to don the latest and
greatest in club-hopping skimpy wear? Still some guys prefer the
slick and sophisticated clothing of the professional world while
others prefer simple sundresses and cotton-based duds. Those that
prefer the professional garb are highly motivated and intent on
success, which means your appearance is attached to his opinion
of his reputation. He may care for and respect you, but there
is a chance his career may occasionally interfere with your comfy-factor.
If he wants you dolled up he wants success and prestige in his
life. If he likes you casually dressed then he's laid-back and
earthy and more than willing to let you be yourself. Still, those
who want you in skimpy clothing and striving for plastic perfection
are looking to don you as "arm candy" and, coincidentally a self-indulgent
ego-boost. If he places primary dependence on your looks, specifically
your looks as cosmopolitan couture, then chances are you may need
to look elsewhere for a more sincerely motivated man.
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