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Seducing the Lioness
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Seducing the Lioness
or any woman for that matter - from the DATING KING

Sure you think you're Rico Suave, that is, until you actually attempt to make conversation. Suddenly Mr. Smooth turns into an icy, bumbling fool whose latest offer to buy some pretty girl a drink has just been rejected, just like the past 4 offers. So, you think you could use a little help in the "L" (love) department huh? Well boys, here are a few quick tips to help you gain that manly confidence and keep your Saturday nights booked, for as long and as often as you desire...


Flirting Tip #1: Break the Ice

Sure it may seem cliché, too obvious, but the truth is (as with the rest of these tips), generally if it's a cliché, it works. There's a reason things become cliché, and that is usually the "true" factor. So, logically when one meets a woman they are interested in, they first need to make contact. But you don't want to be abrupt, alarming, or any of those other pejorative words used to describe the initially pejorative reaction of a disinterested woman. Instead, you want to slowly steer your boat due North, working patiently, methodically (albeit genuinely) through any type of rough waters (read here, a woman's guard) and help make that first introduction a successfully friendly and interesting one.

But how exactly do you break the ice you ask? Below is a list of frequent misconceptions of successful ways to break the ice, followed by a few realistic and proven successful "breaking the ice" methodologies.

Breaking the Ice No-No's

Cheap come-on lines and other one-liners

Example: "Hey do you mind if I borrow a quarter? My mother told me to call when I saw an angel, and looking at you, well its time to make that phone call."

Says -Pushy, egotistical, self-interested attitude.

Example: "Hey gorgeous, feeling lucky, because I'm the man you need."

Says-Unconfident, and scared of your own shadow.

Example- Anything bordering on "Stuttering Stanley."

Says-A guy who can't even say hello without stammering five times is likely to scare a woman off on first impressions.

You don't want to be Joe-Cool, but you don't want to fall all over yourself either. She can't seem like the first girl you're hitting on. Generally, rookies are only "cute" up to a certain age.

Breaking the Ice the right way

Assertive Friendliness = eye contact+smile+approach+introduction

First and foremost make eye contact. Smile, and gauge her response. If it seems positive, continue holding eye contact and walk up prepared to shake her hand and introduce yourself. "Hi, I'm so-and-so, nice to meet you." Let your instinct do the rest.

Flirting Tip #2: The Trust Factor

After you've established an introduction its essential to maintain conversation on a friendly, non-formidable level. You don't want your next potential date thinking you're a weirdo, something, or someone you're not (i.e. don't be self-ingratiating). You need to establish a rapport, and with that rapport, trust. There's a reason you met this woman at this certain locale, on some fundamental level, no matter how small, there's a similarity between you two that brought you to the same place. Work on divulging the connections between you two that led to this serendipitous occasion and go from there. If she sees you're generally trying to understand commonalities between you two, she's much more likely to trust you rather than if you simply comment on how "hot", stunning, attractive or otherwise that she looks all night long. Show a general interest in her, and how and why she's interesting to you and you're on you're way to smooth sailing.

Flirting Tip #3: Get Physical

No I don't mean go ahead and grope her in public. First and foremost, you'll scare her away. What I do mean to suggest is that after you've established a fundamental rapport and trust, (i.e. you each feel that there's a certain "connection"), solidify that implication by making a subtle physical gesture. This could be something as simple as putting your hand on her arm or shoulder (no not her thigh!), when emphasizing a point or a commonality between you two. The touch asserts and confirms that commonality by establishing a physical link or connection that mirrors the other links between you two. Remember to start slow and simple. You don't want to ruin all your hard work by suddenly patting her on the shoulder or head every five seconds; we're back to weirdo factor. Start with one simple physical suggestion, gauge her reaction, and move on from there. Remember also to keep in mind that women who are more prone to "personal space" may not be as responsive or inviting of such advances, but that doesn't mean they're not interested. It could mean that they are just have either 1) trust issues 2) higher walls 3) a sense of claustrophobia, and thus an endearment for personal space or 4) a little of all. Keep talking and finding out where her actual boundaries, physical and psychological, are so that you can proceed with caution, but successfully nonetheless.

Flirting Tip #4: Platonic Plague

On a fundamental level women have a tendency to classify men on one of two levels: friends, or lovers. Generally the friend never gets to become the lover, save for the slim possibility many years down the line. If you've witnessed "friendships" going from platonic to intimate faster than the speed of light its not because the girl decided to take her friendship to the next level with some guy, its because she was ALWAYS interested in him from the first place, and she simply used the guise of a friendship to mask her feelings while allowing herself personal access into his life until he makes the first move.

In short, those who get granted the platonic category "friend" need to realize that they may have missed their opportunity with this one. When a girl says a guy is just a friend, and she genuinely means "friend" this logically implies that she genuinely does NOT mean "lover." To assure avoiding the same casualty with your new prospect make sure you establish a rapport on an intimate level that inquiries as to your potential as a "lover" and not a "friend". But how do you do this you ask? Simple enough. Make sure to pay her compliments about her looks (now is the time to compliment her physicality, not during the first impression stage), her savvy, her tastes, etc.

Also, use eye-contact once again to your advantage. Holding gazes, particularly intent ones sends the message "I'm interested" and not, "let's be friends." If she meets your gaze and responds with equally flattering physical compliments then you're on the right track. Bottom line: you want her to know that you think she's attractive and you want her to think the same of you.

Flirting Intimacy#5: Initiate Intimacy

You've made eye contact, introduced yourself, established a rapport, got emotional, complimented and sent physical and verbal signals that YOU'RE INTERESTED. What next? It's time, providing she has been positively responsive with all of these scenarios, to take initiative and get intimate. This move shouldn't however, be put into use until at least several hours of "getting to know each other" milieu is under way and decorum says its apropos to offer something like a good-night kiss, but nothing more. Still a kiss is more assertive than a hug, one needs to gauge where they think their female prospect lay. Will she be comfortable with a kiss-on the mouth, or on the cheek? Will she prefer a hug, or will she find the hug disappointing and implicit of "friendship?" The best way to do things is to slowly make a move and see her reaction. If she sees you coming in and darts the motive, don't be entirely deflated, she may be the goody-type. That's ok. You're just going to have understand you're working with different boundaries. However, if she reciprocates your advances, keep things soft and subtle, teasing-like, so as not to reveal too much on the first impression. A soft kiss at the nape of her neck, or brushing across her cheek towards her ear says more than friendship without being too assertive. All the same, remember, flirting is as much a game as a technique, and as such, requires that you make sure you're victorious by having her wanting more by the end of the night.