Flirting With Disaster
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Flirting With Disaster Stories - pg 10 (next page)
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"I can't hear you.  I am not listening to you....," whines Carl from St. Louis, Missouri. He has this defense mechanism where he acts like a complete schmuck when he doesn't hear things he likes.

This guy is complete dufus and begs the question "Who made him that way?"

Grow up, Carl.  We all have to deal with things we don't like.  It's part of life.  If you want to flirt, you'd better learn that lesson. 


George is always running late and always running drunk, through the streets of greater San Francisco, California, that is.  So he likes a little nip every so often.  That doesn't make him a bad fella, does it?

"I like wine but I hate time," said George to

Well he may as well hate flirting, too, because with such a mantra he is limited to spilling wine on his fist if he wants to score.  Woman very rarely enjoy a drunken man, unless they happen to help get him that way.  More often than not, sobriety and timeliness are timeless sobering tips, not just for the flirter but also for the flirtee.


Lisa is a loser in the fine city of Chicago, Illinois, and the real reason is that she enjoys going down on a man a little too much.

"I don't want to get to know them," she said.  "Well, maybe later... but, usually I am so sex starved I want them to know I am available and will do it at the drop of a hat."

Good lord.  Get a hold of yourself, Lisa.  Unless you want to make it in the porn industry, show a little restraint.  Yes, there are plenty of men that would oblige your insatiable appetite, but none that you would want to do anything else with.  She has a major disconnect problem.  She needs to disconnect her lips.



"Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk!" Moe from Baton Rouge, LA, loves the old "Three Stooges" films and is prone to doing all sorts of Stooge theatrics like putting his thumb on his nose and making all sorts of those goofy and asinine sounds the 'Three Stooges' were prone to do.  His dad was a 'Stooge' nut and named him Moe after the famous 'Stooge' of the same name. 

"Eeeb-eeeb-eeeb-eeeb!," he said to, "Woob, woob, woob, woob, woob!  I'll murderize ya!"

Reciting anything 'Stooge' is a definite 'no-no' when it comes to flirting.  Nowadays, most women won't even get what you are trying to do, and the ones that do get it will be putt off.  Someone needs to poke this jackass in the eye.



"Boo, it's me," says Jack from Wenatchee, Washington.  Jack loves to sneak up on people and stick his head around the corner and catch people unsuspecting.

"Hey, everyone likes a surprise," he told

That may be true, but only a degree.  You don't want to constantly scare the shit out of someone and Jack would be wise to keep his surprises to a minimum. 

Picture this guy next to you in a picture.  Don't like the resolution? Neither would most women.  Bob from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, is the type that will not only tell you to take a picture because it lasts longer, he will show you what the picture looks like by holding a frame over his face, which he carries with him everywhere he goes.

"I think women like to know how their man will look up on a wall," Bob told 

For crying out loud, Bob, you have to put the time in before you get up on their wall.  Otherwise, most women will prefer to see what you look like getting the door slammed in your face. 

Oscar from Cincinnati, Ohio, is a dweeb who loves to make peace signs and other hand gestures he can think of.  He's also prone to wearing a huge patriotic hand on his head. 

"I like to spread peace wherever I go," he told unabashedly.

Great.  Nobody thinks that is a bad thing.  He'll help lighten it up a bit when you flirt with Oscar.  He's no grouch.


"I have great idea and I know you want to hear all about it," screams this goober, Dan, of Queens, New York.  He's constantly making huge sweeping motions with his hands and other exaggerated gestures.

"I talk with my hands," said Dan, making a huge swooping circle through the air causing us to back up a few paces.

Sudden and wild hand gestures can seem threatening and unpredictable when flirting.  So, if you have the same problem as Dan, just keep them to your side or try to clasp them behind your back.

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