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Flirting With Disaster
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Flirting With Disaster Stories - Flirting.com pg 15 (back to page 1)
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Our bitch meter just went through the roof.  Shelly from Atlanta, Georgia, is pissed off at the world and specifically at men.  She hates that she has to have a man to look complete in the corporate world of bullshit she deals with everyday, where she emasculates the male employees all the time anyway.

No wonder she falters on the dating scene.  Men can take such behavior once a month, not every day of the month. 

flirting

Harry from Ft. Collins, CO, is a computer hacker and he can hack into any bank account.  He thinks it's neat to show women how he actually paid for the dinner with their own funds. 

"I like to show women how easy it is to get their identity," he said.  "I joke with them that I already know everything about them. It's true."

Let's get one thing straight.  Just because you rob people with a computer, doesn't mean you are some kind of new sophisticated type of guy that works in a cutting edge field of modern high tech gadgets.  You're still a common crook, women will see that.

flirting

"I get fired so often that I carry around my own moving boxes," says Stan from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.  What a dip, we say.

You don't want to hide your failures
but nobody says you want to wear them as some kind of badge of courage.  You want to emphasize your victories not your losses.  At least he doesn't live in a box, but he is not far from it if he keeps this up. 

flirting

 

Try looking up her skirt and you'll be looking down the barrel of her Glock.  Some women like Tracy from Philly, Pennsylvania, are simply protective of what they think guys are after. And they are mostly right about that.  But, are guns really necessary?

"You can never be too protective with these creeps," she said.  "I catch them trying anything funny and I'll whip out my piece. That'll have them shitting bricks and thinking twice about forcing anything on me."

Nothing like a short skirt and a handgun in the purse to say 'street hooker'.  Guys, you are best advised to drive to the next block. 

flirting

 

I have to take care of 'that thing' so we can go out," says Mario from Sussex, New Jersey.  He thinks it's cool to share a little of his gangster Mafioso lifestyle with a potential flirt because of the popularity of movies like "The Godfather" and shows like "The Sopranos."

"Hey, I live that life," he said, smiling.  "I think women are attracted to those kind of characters."

Most women (and guys for that matter) are not attracted to sociopaths.  Gangsters of any persuasion, be it the mafia or the hood, need to leave flirting to law abiding citizens. 

flirting

Lying in styro-foam is what Hilary does to relax.  She can't figure out why when her occasional flirting leads back to her place, they always think she's a complete nut job.

"There are many skin enhancing qualities that many people don't know about Styrofoam," she told Flirting.com.  "It is like taking a mud bath, in some ways."

We really don't know what to say, or where to start. We feel this one should be obvious, if not then you belong with Hilary.

flirting

Partial-deck Dale, from Los Angeles, California, is an aspiring actor. He's been trying to move up to server at his restaurant, but can't get past busing tables because one Sunday brunch he grabbed a banana and pretended it was his cell phone to make customers laugh. What he didn't realize was that he was bringing the restaurant down in doing so, according to health regulations that was quite unsanitary.

"I am very prop orientated," he said. "I have this huge poster of Carrot Top in my room at home.  I like to show women how talented I am and flirt by picking up inanimate objects and using them in my impromptu routine."

We wonder how many times he does get laughter return?  Leave the props behind and flirt with real objects, like a billfold.  Works much better, it is slightly more sanitary and it won't get you in trouble at work.

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Bob in Cleveland, Ohio, claims he has a nice ass and loves to show it off when flirting.  However, he never seems to make any inroads with the ladies.  He's at a loss to explain his lack of success.

“Say no to crack, Bob,” we advised him.

Bob needs to understand that seeing his “tighty whities” or even just his butt crack is something that in all likelihood will make most women sick to their stomachs.  Pull those jeans up Bob and you might do better.

If Bob could grow a pair of eyes in the back of his head, he would probably agree with us. 

flirting

 

Melanie in Atlanta, Georgia, loves to meet men online.  She has a built-in video camera on her notebook computer but is not sure why men aren't attracted to her large breasts.

"I usually put my boobs up as close as possible to get men’s attention," she told Flirting.com.  "I don't get many responses – I am not sure why."

We logged on and found the answer for her.  Her boobs are too close.  They cover the entire screen and nobody can figure out what they are looking at.  Melanie needs to back up a bit and take a good look in the web cam.  If she can’t see them, how can we?

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