Flirting With Disaster
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Flirting With Disaster Stories - pg 8 (next page)
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Jerry from Chicago, Illinois, is high-powered attorney and is overly self-critical. He often puts a dunce cap on his head and sits in a corner if he deems he didn't do right by his client.

"I feel like putting a dunce cap on my head is a good way of self-disciplining myself.  It's sort of like self-flagellation in that regard," he said to

Jerry is a complete idiot and it's no wonder he always bombs when it comes to flirting.  Women are not particularly interested in guys that have all the answers, but they surely will avoid one who beats himself up like Jerry does.


Clarice from Sacramento, California, is so paranoid she resorts to wearing tinfoil on her head.  That way the Government and aliens can't read what's on her mind.

"I don't trust anybody," she told  "With today's technology, it's simply too easy to read people's minds and find out all their personal information."

Clarice sucks when it comes to meeting guys because that entails opening yourself up to men.  You have to build a little trust to flirt well and like most things made out of aluminum, if you don't have trust, the flirting won't stick.  Now, perhaps if she could use her brainwaves to update her Netflix account, she might open her mind a little bit.  Just an idea. 


Brad from Houston, TX, has a can-opener set of teeth that drive women running as far and away from him as possible.  He doesn't quite get what the big deal is about his teeth.

"Not everybody is perfect," Brad confided to  "Yes, I know my teeth aren't porcelain white, but not everybody is Eric Estrada."

Oh, my.  Poor Brad needs to understand that you don't have to have a set of pearly whites, but you don't want to appear to be able to put a can under your top lip and turn your head to open the can.  Women are attracted to men with nice smiles and nice smiles aren't nice if they're yellow.

Oscar is a scuba instructor in the Virgin Islands.  He loves to mediate anywhere and everywhere he can.  The problem is when he emerges from one of his mediations, the women seem to be gone.  He feels it's because he's not mediating enough.

"I guess I should concentrate more if I want to experience the rapture of flirting," he told us.

Good God.  He doesn't realize that while he meditates on the act of flirting, he's letting all the flirts simply walk away and flirt with someone else.  He should cut back the meditating if he ever wants to experience the rapture of getting a girls number. 

Tim from Atlanta, Georgia, is a book worm and is into the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, by J.R.R. Tolkien.  He named his pecker "Frodo" and tells women he needs to find their ring.

"I like a little fantasy when it comes to flirting," he said.  "However, most women seem put off by this approach

Tim needs to know that naming your pecker is a no-no when it comes to flirting.  The idea is to let her name "it" in due time.  Hopefully, she'll call it something big.

Frank from New York, New York, thinks he is 'Frank' (Sinatra) singing "New York, New York" at every karaoke bar he can find on Fridays.  If you ever had the displeasure of listening to him, you'll discover he really sucks.   

"Yes, I know my voice has never been the same since that accident swallowing swords back when I considered a career in the circus," Frank said.  "Still, I like to entertain and simply can't find a woman that likes Frank Sinatra like I do."

Good lord.  A man that butchers the real Frank has no shame and no style.  Sometimes the hardest act for a musician is to know when it's time to hang up the microphone.  The problem with Frank is he should have never picked it up.  Get the mic out of his hand and maybe he'll have a good chance at flirting.

Greg is from Jacksonville, Florida, and is one of those "hand guys."  He is always gesticulating and acting out things with his hands.

"I like to get my point across," he said, drawing an imaginary square in front of our eyes.  "Then, people know where I am coming from."

Perhaps he understands the middle finger, because that's pretty much what this obnoxious hand guy will elicit from most women.  Keep your hands to yourself so we don't have to look at them if you want a good chance to flirt.


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