Flirting With Disaster
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Flirting With Disaster Stories - pg 14 (last page )
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Is it a peep hole or a glory hole?  It is waist high and the back of her apartment buts up against the restroom at an adult video store.  Oftentimes, it's here that she tries to do her best flirting. 

Okay, this is really low and not worthy of any flirting opinion from us.  Clearly she should see that men that are going to pop anything into her peep hole are not really looking to flirt, but do something else.  We won't go there. 


Pants-On-His-Head Pete is annoying to the ladies in the Seattle, Washington, dating scene because he thinks he's different than the other guys.  Well, he is.  He sticks his head through the zipper of his pants, and he often wears them on his head. 

"I like women to know that I'm not typical," he told us proudly.

Pete's right about that.  He's not typical.  It should be obvious what he is.  Anyone that looks through their zipper is a whack job.  Thank you for making this so abundantly clear, Pete - you ass clown!

Beth in Cambridge, MA, is not only wild in bed, she really is wild... lives in the park kind of wild.  Okay, so some girls overdo it and they think that there's no limit when it comes to being wild for men. 
"I'm not lying to men when I tell them that I am literally wild," she said, purring like a wild beast.

Beth is perfectly right.  Guys like women to be wild.  But, there's still a fine line, and they prefer not to shit in the woods.

"I'll cut off your wiener if you wrong me," says Camille from Herndon, Virginia.  "I have done it before. You'll be carrying your sausage to the hospital to have it sewed back on if you cross me."

Nobody should ever feel they are really threatened when it comes to flirting. Having a butcher knife waved at you is not the act of a great flirt, but the act of a homicidal wacko.  Run for your life and the family jewels and live to flirt another day.  Go.  Go now. 

Gary from Maine is a glutton for punishment.  He likes it when he gets the crap beat out of him every so often.  However, his landlord is not too keen on the holes in his plaster from his thick-skulled head. 

"When I experience pain," he said.  "I experience life.

He'll experience a whole lot of life after we clean his clock for him.  Carpe diem.  (This is the sort of weirdo best avoided altogether.)

This ultra scary looking guy looks like he could be the Unabomber's ex-lover.  In any case, Hank is a notoriously poor flirt when it comes to the ladies.  He claims he hadn't had sex with a woman since a high school field trip when he was 17 - some ten years ago.  (We won't even go there). 

When he asked what his flirting problems might be, we were at a loss for words.  For one thing, we didn't know you need tips for how to flirt while in jail.  Second, this guy is freaking scary.  Scary is good for Halloween, but not for everyday flirting.  Avoid this look at all costs. 

Gerald from Chattanooga, has mental telepathy but if you look like this using it, would you actually tell people about your supersensory ability?

"It's weird and almost a self-fulfilling prophecy," he told  "It is like I can tell they are going to blow me off."

You really need mental telepathy to figure that out, Gerald?  We think you could surmise that with a mirror.  The point is, not matter how neat of a trick you can do, if you can't do it with style, it's not worth your while. 



Georgina from Tallahassee, is always trying to flirt to no avail.  She is cute enough, but upon meeting her we realized she's a slob and carries around her clothes in a big ball of tangled dirty laundry.

“My washing machine broke,” she confessed to  “I like men that share – so I usually bring my dirty laundry with me in the hope they will help me out.  I will flirt with them until the laundry is finished.”

Wow.  We only wonder who put her in the washing machine as a child and turned on the spin cycle.

When you flirt, come flirting with all the chores completed.

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