Flirting With Disaster
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Flirting With Disaster Stories - pg 11 (next page)
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Mike carries around his own mistletoe year-round.  He thinks it's a surefire way to get a kiss from a gal, though it hasn't worked yet.  He has gotten the crap beaten out of him by a couple guys though, after hitting up their ladies for a kiss.

"I'm bold and take chances," he said.  "I am only following the advice I've read on and I am starting to think it's all wrong... I mean...sniff..."

At this point we'd beat the shit out of him, too.  There's no disrespecting  The lesson is to be bold, not gimmicky, cheap and obnoxious. Mike needs to take these aspects out of his flirting habits or he's bound to lose more teeth. 

Andrew is a used-car salesman in Wexford, Pennsylvania.  He tries to write witty sayings with soap on the car windows of girls he's interested in meeting.

"I want them to know that I like fast cars and fast women," he told  "However, most women don't fit that bill, I guess... because I haven't had much luck thus far."

Being a used-car salesman is shady and it's hard to come off other than disingenuous when are flirting.  Loose the profession, Andrew, and your flirting will improve.  Or, if you can't change jobs, surely avoid broadcasting the fact you are a used car salesman by writing on their car windows.  It doesn't take a moron to see the writing is really on the wall.

EJ from Triadelphia, West Virginia, is very suspicious of everyone he meets. He thinks the ex-KGB Russians want to poison him for some reason despite he is only a little-known lawyer in a small US town. 

"When I met woman," he told  "I ask myself why this woman would want to have me killed. Does she work for the KGB?" 
EJ needs to realize his fears of the ex-KGB wanting him dead are totally exaggerated.  Still, it's hard to explain the radioactive poison that found its way into his system.  Oh, well, with only weeks left to live, his flirting problems will be a thing of the past anyhow.


Joy from Raleigh, North Carolina, is much too joyous, if that can be considered a sin.

"I love life, I love the world, I love you," she said, dancing in circles and throwing her hands up to the cloudy sky.

Give us a break.  Life is a great time, but there is hardship as well. To constantly act like there isn't means you are disconnected to reality.  You need to be grounded.  There is much joy in joy but not quite as much reality.  That is her biggest problem. 

George is a bond manager at a major investment firm in New York, NY.  He's always pointing the finger at someone and to cover his ass.  George has no luck flirting.

"I like to make sure I'm right," he said. "It goes with the territory in my line of work. You don't ever want to be wrong, because then they'll throw you out on your ass."

George you're wrong, you should be thrown out on your ass.  Flirting is not a case of right and wrong, only of effort.  Make the effort and you'll be successful.  When you start covering your ass, most women will want to throw you out on it. 


Fred from Seattle, has trouble making up his mind.  He's indecisive when it comes to many things in life and it takes him forever to get ready in the morning because he can't decide on what shirt to wear.  He changes pants four times before he can get out the door.

It's no wonder that women make up their mind quite fast about Fred and it usually results in them moving on.  Sometimes you just have to go with your gut feeling, sometimes that's just what women like.  So if you can't make up your mind, it will be made for you by others when it comes to flirting.  Go with the flow.  Go with your feelings and your flirting will be the chief beneficiary.

Ian from Boston, has a major problem meeting women and he can't figure out why, he tells

"I am pretty normal and nice," he said, shrugging his shoulders.  "I guess women simply don't like nice guys anymore."

Wrong.  Ian, women like nice guys, just not complete dorks like you. I mean look at your hair style.  Also, what's with the Hubble Telescope glasses?  If he dropped them, some people might think the Russians just shot the Hubble down.  If you could benefit from an fashion sense upgrade, like Ian, start by hitting the magazine racks and grab GQ.  That's a start.

Caroline is a professional mime.  She rehearses her Pantomime round the clock in her studio apartment in Gary, Indiana. 

"I want to meet someone that really is into pantomime and the artistic life form...," she said.  "however, most of the men into pantomime are already spoken for - no pun intended! I don't flirt with guys that don't pantomime."

We would tell her to shut up but she seems to have the opposite problem - she's too quiet.  We do suggest she not limit herself to a guy that does pantomime to be of flirting interest.  After all, variety is the spice of life and to hold to a small area of artistic form has its limitations. 

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