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Flirting Tales (page 13)
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Flirting Tales ... Flirting.com pg 24 (next page)
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Chuck from Detroit, MI, knows how to unwind and still look important.  He knows the value of loosening that tie every so often.

"I think looking a little rumpled is shabby-chic if you ask me," he told Flirting.com. 

We didn't ask him, but should you find yourself taking the stuffed shirt look to the club - take our advice and let it out a little.  There is time to tuck it in and time to leave it untucked.  There is a time to roll up the sleeves and keep them buttoned, and when it's after hours it's definitely the time to let it all hang out.  You get the picture.  Chuck definitely does, you should take notes. 


Cherie, a fashion buyer in Boston, is not shy about taking the initiative and approaching men if they seem hesitant to make the first move.   She'll walk right up to them and tell them their cologne smells nice or compliment them on their tie or coat.

"They say the early bird gets the worm," Cherie told Flirting.com.  "I want to get the best worm so I swoop down fast when I see one I like."

It's said that many men would like women to be more assertive when it comes to the game of flirting.   Nowadays women are doing just that.  So, if you see a worm out there that catches your eye, you better move quickly because Cherie will. 

Tracy from New London, CT, is a big fan of flirting with repetitive signals that let a man knows she's ready and willing for the flirt of a lifetime.

"Once is a coincidence," she said, "Twice is interest, three times is saying you want me, I am yours.  They should pick up on my signals if they're smart."

Men should be advised that if a lovely gal like Tracy turns your way three times, this is

  your huge signal that you better go and introduce yourself.  Tracy has a hard rule that if three signals are not acknowledged, then she will assume the man is simply not interested or clueless.  What a shame if you were waiting for a fourth signal.

 Our tip here is to think baseball. Just as in baseball, you get three strikes with flirting and you're out. The point is if you get a pitch, you better swing for the flirting fences - especially if you want to get to first base.

Luis is a cook at a fine restaurant in Los Angeles, CA, and he knows how to cook up some heat when
it comes to culinary and female delights.

"I cook with spice and my flirting is no different," he said. "I like to emphasize
that I am romantic and don't want a boring fling.  I want something lasting, something that will linger and make your mouth water - like my enchiladas."

Luis does well, we could all benefit from writing down his flirting recipe.  Spice up your flirting by avoiding the ordinary and go for the bold.  Start with a spicy enchilada and flirt in the style of Luis. 

Barb is an assistant project manager in Frisco, Texas.  She is drop-dead gorgeous and shared with Flirting.com her surefire technique of landing a matching beau that can keep up with her "between the sheets needs."  She calls it the sexy whisper.

"It works like a charm," she told Flirting.com, "If I whisper to men sensuously, they are spellbound..."

Barb usually preempts her whisper by telling them she has a "secret" she would like to share with them.  Then whispers in his ear, "I love the way you wear those jeans" or something similar.  You get the message.

Barb underscores a great point about flirting.  The manner in which something is said can mean just as much as what is actually being said.  We should not have to say this again.

Grace, a trade show representative from Wayne, New Jersey, has a great flirting technique to find out which men are interested in her.  When she goes into a club or bar, or even one of her trade shows, she saunters across the room and gives a friend the secret duty of reporting on who is looking.

"It's funny when I get back and my friend tells me who was checking out my goods," she laughed.  "When I find out, I check them out and then see who is worth pursuing...  It works like a charm."

Grace is very sly and smart.  This technique, which we call flirting by triangulation, can work for both men and women, but note you have to have friends willing to play along.  And, friends you can trust.  After all, a friend might pull a "Something About Mary" and tell you they weren't interested while your friend plans to mack on them later.  Underhanded, yes.  But does it happen? You bet

 

Duane from Hoboken, New Jersey, says his best flirting tip is actually "listening" to what a woman has to say.  He really means it, and he's not kidding.

"Yes, we've all heard that advice before," laughed Duane, a Geek Squad Computer Team leader for Best Buy.  "How many times do you put your mouth where your.... I mean your ears where you words are?"

Good point.  We hear you loud and clear, but can you hear yourself?

Shelly is an interior designer from Milwaukee, Wisconsin.  She describes her best flirting tip - when out on the club or bar scene don't be with too many friends. 

"I don't think men like to approach a girl who is surrounded with all of her girlfriends," she said.  "I think it makes them feel tentative about approaching women because the fear of rejection factor is multiplied by each one."

Shelly is definitely right.   A good tip for women who want to attract a man is to make sure you are approachable and not in the center of conversation with your group. Decent men may not want to interrupt you if you are talking to them.  With men, it always helps if you look like you need company.  Otherwise, many would-be flirts will take the flirting path of least resistance to the girl who looks like she needs somebody to buddy up to.  Make that person you and you will be in flirting paradise.


Bali is a software engineer at Stanford and loves to flirt with a pleasant attitude.  He says it should show in everything you do and it does for Bali.

"I don't go out of my way to smile," he said.  "I guess I'm naturally happy and woman pick up on that."

It's hard for us to say how to become happy if you naturally aren't, but we will mention that happiness breeds happiness.  On the flip-side, if you're depressed flirting is going to be difficult.  Don't despair, though, there is a lot to be happy about - just ask Bali.  

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Chrissie is a civil project manager from Sacramento, California. She feels that great flirting often stems from how one handles the bad flirts that one must brush off occasionally.

"I believe that if you're at a bar and a dorky
or rude man comes on to you and you're not interested," she said, "you have to play it carefully.  After all, more suitable men might be watching you.  If I turn up my face at the dork or roll my eyes when he leaves, this
might make another man a little less bold. 
He may think he might receive the same rejection. Or be turned off by that entirely."

Great point, Chrissie!  Let a clueless flirt off the hook gently.  No need to be mean when
it comes to flirting.

Tell the hapless and hopeless know you appreciate their interest, just smile and politely inform them you're not interested.  Remember that they showed they were interested enough to approach you and you should be flattered by that fact.  It doesn't mean you have to return the flirt, but if you show a positive response then that tall drink of water you were wishing would come on over, just might get the balls to do so. Since he now knows he won't get kicked in his if he is not to your liking.  Just don't kick anybody for any reason, whatsoever, and you'll be safe. 

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